Wow, I can’t believe March is already (almost) over! This month felt like it went by really fast, but I have been keeping fairly busy so that definitely makes the time feel like it’s just flying by.
Today I’ve been spending some free time going over plans for April & checking out how I did for March. I am really excited for April, and am really proud of my progress from March. At the end of February I decided I wanted to focus on my mindfulness, thus, Mindful March was born. If you check out that post you can see a bit more info about it!
So a quick recap of what my Mindful March consisted of:
Major focus on Mindfulness in my DBT books
Daily Mindful tracker (I’ve called mine Mindful Life)
Sometimes it can be hard to stay motivated, especially if you struggle with depression or many of the other mental & physical disorders that can make getting through the day a bit more difficult. Sometimes even getting out of bed and putting on pants can be a struggle, especially when you feel there is no point and you aren’t getting anything out of it, or feel that you’re going to have a bad day anyways so why bother.
Motivating yourself with little rewards when you’re feeling rough, or any other time where you need a little boost is a pretty great idea in my opinion. Especially if your rewards are things you wouldn’t normally treat yourself with (new clothes when you normally wear your clothes until they are in shreds, some slightly more expensive pens for journaling that you’ve been eyeing for months but don’t really need, a gym membership so you can finally lose those last few pounds, etc). The rewards don’t have to be monetary either, they could also be things like getting your husband to take the kids for a day so you can have some peace & quiet (or more likely catch up on housework lol). It can be something that you’ve been putting off for months, or possibly years but really want to find the time to do.
Well, my excitement about spring was a bit short-lived. I was pretty sure we would get another foot or so of snow before spring actually shows up…and I was right. The last week it’s been snowing and blustery all week, and today is the first day the sun has come out to play since my post Spring Has Sprung (And So Have I!). Of course I super jinxed it all, ah well though. We even have years where it randomly snows as late in the year as the end of June, so this wasn’t surprising at all! I’m still a bit bummed out that spring isn’t here to stay yet though.
I talk about a few things in this post that might upset or trigger someone. Please be warned that this post is about a little ‘fight’ with my boyfriend and I do talk about some negative thought processes.
Sometimes my emotions are easy to decipher, like when I’m happy or calm. They are steady and not wavering, and if they happen to change they do so slowly and not erratically. But other times it often feels like someone took a box of discarded emotions, shook it up, opened it and dumped it all onto my lap at once and I’m trying to frantically get a hold of them but I don’t know where one starts & another begins. Sometimes people don’t seem to understand how exhausting this can be, and a lot of the time they don’t even know it’s going on. Sometimes it comes on so quickly that I’m not able to get on top of it and use my skills to handle it as well as I could, and sometimes I’m already so vulnerable due to other things going on that using skills doesn’t even cross my mind.
The other day I had an eye exam, which I was mildly anxious about. The last eye exam I’d been to was a few years ago, and the optometrist wasn’t very impressed that I kept flinching or blinking during the exams. Of course I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I’m one of those people who doesn’t like anything around their eyes, even their own fingers. So having someone else close to my eyes with weird instruments always has me on edge a bit. After the appointment I felt horrible all day, I kept thinking to myself that I was so useless I couldn’t even sit still and not blink long enough to get my eyes checked. What a failure. No wonder why nobody likes me. The optometrist had every right to be rude and angry. Why am I even alive? This is all so stupid, I just want to die.
I’ve been sharing some of my blog posts on a few groups on Facebook, and I’ve been getting a lot of messages on Facebook about why I started a separate BuJo for my mental health, along with how I decide what to put in it! I hope this helps some people out, keep in mind these are just my personal preferences & geared towards what I find helps me the most, so some of this might not work for you.
Why I started a separate bullet journal for my mental health:
I had too many pages & spreads I was duplicating each year, taking up valuable space in my daily BuJo (also taking a lot of time!).
I don’t like taking pages out of old journals & pasting them into new ones. Most of the spreads had other stuff on the other side of the page (trackers, part of a weekly, etc), so taking it out would just mess things up when I go through old journals to check something – which I do often enough that it’s not worth it to take a page out.
Currently I can fit a whole year into one 250 page A5 journal, and I really like it. If I added all the mental health spreads I wanted to each year, I’d have to split my year into 2 journals for the year and that doesn’t work well for me.